Another stereotype I didn't believe in turns out to be alive and well...
I share an office at work with two other people. One is a girl from the mountains of Eastern Kentucky and the other is a boy from a dairy farm in the southern part of the state. They are both also in the 18-25 demographic.
The one from the mountains is married to a boy from the same town. Her husband's mother continued to do his laundry after he was married. Her mother-in-law washes the dishes when she comes over. She would buy her son groceries if my co-worker would let her.
Then there's the guy. He goes home to his mother (an hour and a half away) every weekend.... cause she does his laundry and buys his groceries. He is a 25 year old salaried accountant. He doesn't know how to do laundry. He also thinks his mom enjoys washing his clothes.
The grocery situation is so much sadder to me. He drives his mom to the grocery store and then waits in the car while she shops. She's a legally blind widow. She pays for his groceries. He sits in the car. She buys his shampoo and razors and food. He doesn't have a problem with this. He won't even go into the grocery store with her.
He also won't order me certain things if he's going out to get lunch. Potato cakes for example. He won't order them... it sounds too feminine. Drinks without ice. I don't like ice. He won't do it. It's not masculine enough for him. Even though he knows he's ordering it for a girl.
On our boss's birthday he wouldn't go to the grocery store himself to pick up the cake. Why? cake is not masculine. I guess if you can't enter a grocery store with your handicapped mother.... then you certainly can't enter one alone and buy a pastry.
It's not just foods and learning to laundry either. He tried to convince a co-worker to sew a button back on for him one day. I offered to teach him how. Apparently if someone told the masculine police he could repair his own clothes, they would kick him out of their club. He claims to keep his apartment immaculately clean. I believe him. He's an accountant. They're like that. However, at his mom's, he thinks he can just throw things around. He admits this. She'll clean up after him.
The people at the post office gave him stamps with flowers on them once. He had issues sending his bills out with flowers on them.
I want to know... when will he be self sufficient? I ask him this. Apparently the long-term plan is to find a woman who knows how to do laundry and doesn't mind if he doesn't. She also has to be willing to go to the grocery store alone to buy his food and personal items. And do all those other non-masculine things. And he needs to find her before his mom dies.
I thought that the stereotypical "man" needed to be self sufficient. Apparently you don't need to buy your own food or take care of your own clothes. Hell, you don't even have to *pay* for your food. If there's a woman around, you don't even need to clean up after yourself.
How many of these mothers are out there? My mother stopped doing my laundry the minute I could reach the bottom of the washing machine. Once I was out of college and employed, I never dreamt of her buying my food with her money while I waited in the car.
Are there really many young men out there who are like this? Who think their stamps relect their masculinity? Who think that the people at the drive thru will judge them if they order two cokes and one doesn't have ice in it? Or you ask for potato cakes? I mean, they're just giant tator-tots... Who won't learn to wash clothes or sew on a button?
Am I alone in being appalled by this?? In thinking it's unusual??
7/28/2001
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